In the tradition of posts which you probably don’t really want to know about, but that I enjoy writing, I had a call from the urologist the other day as I had to have a follow up from the great severing.
They get you to do this so that they can determine if there are any little fellas still on the loose following the procedure. After all, having gone to all that trouble of letting some guy poke needles around your tackle, you really don’t want to find out that you’re still going to conceive more little tackers!
So the other day I had to send in a sample, lovingly and carefully prepared (and within 2 hours of production). I was going to drop it in on my way to work until Caroline reminded me that I had a new guy starting at work that I was supposed to be meeting. That meant that she got to deliver it for me (I’m sure she was thrilled).
Especially because she called me during the process of dropping it off because she noted on the form that it said that you had to abstain for four days prior. “Um, how long have you abstained for?” she asked me.
“Um, a day …”
“Yeah, that’s what I put, you might have to do this again.”
Anyway, beyond that it went off without a hitch.
Then I got the call from the surgery the other day. I was happy to get the call, because it meant that I didn’t have to ring and make an appointment to go in and see them.
Unfortunately, rather than getting the all-clear that I was expecting, I was told that I would need to come back and provide another sample … in say 2 months.
Looks like I’ve got determined little buggers and they’re looking to hang on! Well I’ll be seeing to that in the next couple of weeks, I assure you! I’m on a mission to do in 4 weeks what they recommended I come back in 2 months to do.
So having put you through that, and to leave you with an image that does not involve my personal testicles, I’ll share with you this story that one of my off-shore superintendents told me many years ago. He was home in the UK and was going out with one of his mates when his mate told him he needed to drop off a sample.
Well that was bad enough, but when they got there, his mate was a little slow in getting out the car.
“Come on, get rid of it and we can get going,” he said to his mate. But his mate sheepishly informed Ken that he had to ‘obtain the sample’ as he hadn’t been able to do it at home.
So Ken got to stand outside the car whilst his mate ‘obtained the sample’. Following this, he followed his mate into the clinic where it was to be delivered. Ken took a seat whilst his mate lined up.
When his mate got to the front of the queue and his form was being filled out, the nurse asked him how long ago the sample had been obtained.
Apparently it was fairly obvious what was being delivered and in the interests of getting his own back, before his mate could answer the nurse, Ken called out loud enough for the entire waiting room to hear, “5 minutes ago love, in the car park!”
And then he promptly walked out of the clinic to leave his mate, red faced and embarrassed to finalise the process.
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