So its been done. And it didn't seem right to pass such a momentous event off without a post.
I think that it was fortunate that I'd been so busy during the week that I hadn't really had time to think about what was going to happen. Not up until the dream that I had the night before I was going in to have to surgery when I dreamt about it. I knew when I woke up from that dream that the chances of having the operation done whilst kneeling on all fours like a dog peeing against a tree were minimal. I have no idea what my subconscious was playing at but man was I tense when I woke up.
It was a lot of hours later that I was finally on the operating table. And it was at the point where the nurse started telling me what to expect that I think I finally realised exactly what this procedure meant.
I think it was the bit where she talked about the needle that I'd get ... in my scrotum. That certainly was something I decided I couldn't look forward to. The fact that I then had several minutes to think about it whilst the doctor prepared didn't help. Way too much apprehension for those moments.
I think I was relieved when the first needle was done. I have to liken it to a dental injection (other than by location obviously) in that I think the thought of the needle was significantly worse than the reality. It wasn't painless, but it wasn't 'cry out and ask for mummy' pain either.
At that point, there was a pause whilst the anesthetic took effect. During this time, the nurse engaged me in conversation, which continued right through the process such that at times one stopped and realised that whilst one was chatting happily away, there was a guy standing beside me, casually applying the Selly's No More Kids(tm)! It was very surreal.
Then he'd finished the first side and it was time to move on ... which meant another needle. I didn't expect any pain, hoping that the first anesthetic would cover of the needle on the other side. I should be so lucky. Nothing like a brief and searing pain in one's most precious bits.
All in all though, the procedure wasn't an issue. The worst pain I felt from that needle probably only rated a 3.5/10 in the scheme of things. One of the women that works there spoke to Caroline and advised her that it wasn't that painful, nothing like what a woman goes through.
It wasn't until later that I thought, “How would she know, she's never been there.” After all, we've had four kids and I never felt a thing!
The proof was always going to be when the anesthetic wore off though. And again, there wasn't an intense physical pain just days of discomfort that I can only relate to the feeling that one gets after stopping a soccer ball with a poorly selected bit of anatomy! And I mean here I am on Tuesday evening and I still feel like I've done exactly that.
Apparently it gets better ...
Feb 20, 2007
Feb 15, 2007
The Fart
I was sitting on the plane to Brisbane the other day and after a half hour or so, a subtle, but distinctively nasty aroma began to pervade the air. I made no attempt to analyse the aroma and in face proceeded to actively not engage my olfactory senses.
Now I had been sitting for some time feeling a little less than comfortable, holding back on commencing any sort of chemical warfare within the confined space of the aeroplane’s fuselage.
And at that point I had to stop and think, because an opportunity had just been presented to me.
Someone else had fired off the first salvo. I couldn’t here anyone jumping up and down and claiming it as theirs and neither could I hear anyone complaining or see any sort of finger pointing that might give away the identity of the perpetrator.
And so the opportunity was thus:
I could fire off my own little salvo and hope that either my own effort would be stink free or that the previous attack would be sufficient to mask my own putrescence. This would leave me to wallow only in my own guilt (and possibly putrescence) but with no one the wiser.
But there was a danger to this opportunity. Because, like most people, I have upon occasion been known to release a seemingly innocent little vapour only to find that it mush have been birthed in the deepest, darkest, most evil swamp of mire and stink ever to have graced this sweet earth; and hence produce a stink with sufficient potency to turn the dead in their graves and send those who are yet to reach that state well on the way to achieving it.
I considered the protocol and ethics of the situation for large numbers of seconds. And then …
I held on.
Now I had been sitting for some time feeling a little less than comfortable, holding back on commencing any sort of chemical warfare within the confined space of the aeroplane’s fuselage.
And at that point I had to stop and think, because an opportunity had just been presented to me.
Someone else had fired off the first salvo. I couldn’t here anyone jumping up and down and claiming it as theirs and neither could I hear anyone complaining or see any sort of finger pointing that might give away the identity of the perpetrator.
And so the opportunity was thus:
I could fire off my own little salvo and hope that either my own effort would be stink free or that the previous attack would be sufficient to mask my own putrescence. This would leave me to wallow only in my own guilt (and possibly putrescence) but with no one the wiser.
But there was a danger to this opportunity. Because, like most people, I have upon occasion been known to release a seemingly innocent little vapour only to find that it mush have been birthed in the deepest, darkest, most evil swamp of mire and stink ever to have graced this sweet earth; and hence produce a stink with sufficient potency to turn the dead in their graves and send those who are yet to reach that state well on the way to achieving it.
I considered the protocol and ethics of the situation for large numbers of seconds. And then …
I held on.
Feb 14, 2007
Telling the kids
I think I passed over something in my last two posts that was somewhat momentous in its own right. We've told the kids that we're moving to Canada.
I wasn't real keen on the idea myself, preferring to put off the new until such time as I had little choice. Caroline kindly pointed out to me that given that we were telling every man and his dog that we were going, we really did have no choice but to tell them
I think my fear stems from a couple of years ago when we nearly went to New Zealand. There was a day when I went to the map shop and Michael and Sam came with me. When they asked why we were getting a map of NZ, I told them and the immediate reaction was, “I dont' want to go to New Zealand!”
So I had the fear of wailing children within my soul as we sat down to dinner the other week to tell them what was going on.
The reaction was pretty quick ... Michael dissolved into tears ... because “I don't want to go in a plane that goes over the water, I don't like the Sea that's why I don't like canoes and boats and Waaaaaaaaaaa!”
The tears I expected, not the reasoning.
Sam was upset as well, because Thomas was going to have a friend and no one else would!*
Later, Sam was again upset because he didn't want to go to a new school. He was also a little concerned that if he asked one of his friends over, they'd have to pay to fly to Canada and that then they wouldn't only want to stay for one night!
Other than that though, there's been little drama and my fears have been to a large extent unfounded. Of course, its also over 5 months way at this point. I'm sure as we get closer, there'll be some more drama. Some of it might have been mitigated by the lure of toys given that we told them that the power is different and so a lot of our things won't work over there and we'll have to buy some new stuff. Oh and something about a trip to Disney Land too.
They've had questions of course and here are some that have arisen to date:
Will we keep our Xbox? What about all the games?
Can we get a house with a pool?
Can Xavier come for a sleep over? (Tom's friend)
Can we get a play station 3?
Can we get a dog when we are in Canada?
What if I can't charge my game boy?
*The day after I found out that this was going to happen, we found out that one of the family's from the boys school, with a boy in Thomas' class are moving to Toronto ... 2.5 hours from Sarnia!
I wasn't real keen on the idea myself, preferring to put off the new until such time as I had little choice. Caroline kindly pointed out to me that given that we were telling every man and his dog that we were going, we really did have no choice but to tell them
I think my fear stems from a couple of years ago when we nearly went to New Zealand. There was a day when I went to the map shop and Michael and Sam came with me. When they asked why we were getting a map of NZ, I told them and the immediate reaction was, “I dont' want to go to New Zealand!”
So I had the fear of wailing children within my soul as we sat down to dinner the other week to tell them what was going on.
The reaction was pretty quick ... Michael dissolved into tears ... because “I don't want to go in a plane that goes over the water, I don't like the Sea that's why I don't like canoes and boats and Waaaaaaaaaaa!”
The tears I expected, not the reasoning.
Sam was upset as well, because Thomas was going to have a friend and no one else would!*
Later, Sam was again upset because he didn't want to go to a new school. He was also a little concerned that if he asked one of his friends over, they'd have to pay to fly to Canada and that then they wouldn't only want to stay for one night!
Other than that though, there's been little drama and my fears have been to a large extent unfounded. Of course, its also over 5 months way at this point. I'm sure as we get closer, there'll be some more drama. Some of it might have been mitigated by the lure of toys given that we told them that the power is different and so a lot of our things won't work over there and we'll have to buy some new stuff. Oh and something about a trip to Disney Land too.
They've had questions of course and here are some that have arisen to date:
Will we keep our Xbox? What about all the games?
Can we get a house with a pool?
Can Xavier come for a sleep over? (Tom's friend)
Can we get a play station 3?
Can we get a dog when we are in Canada?
What if I can't charge my game boy?
*The day after I found out that this was going to happen, we found out that one of the family's from the boys school, with a boy in Thomas' class are moving to Toronto ... 2.5 hours from Sarnia!
Feb 10, 2007
Yukon ho!
Following the announcement that was the subject of my last post, the rush was on to see what information I could possibly garner to further our understanding of what it all meant. Especially since there was a note from the guy likely to be my new boss saying call me.
Now the timing of the announcement left a little to be desired as I first heard whilst driving to Whyalla. Of course, I stopped at our Pt Augusta office on the way but couldn't access the story from there. And it wasn't until late in the afternoon that I managed to access it from Whyalla. It was the following day (Wednesday) that I received the email that said 'call me but I was sans mobile and without access to a phone that I could use for an international call.
So I departed Whyalla early and headed for Pt Augusta where I attempted to make the call. I tried his office number first and got something that sounded like a couple of foreign young teenage girls giggling (no, I didn't keep the number) and then tried the mobile only to get 'This phone is not connected.' Crap.
That left me waiting until Thursday with the time difference meaning that if I didn't call before about 11 it was after business hours. Thursday I managed to leave a couple of messages, but made no contact.
So Friday was the day that I finally managed to speak to the guy in Canada. It didn't leave me flush with information, but the pieces that were most useful were firstly, that yes it was going to happen and secondly that the likely timing was August – September this year. Oh and we will be moving to Sarnia. That was the other important piece of course. So if you google Sarnia, or use google earth, you'll know just how far we are going!
And so the mind starts ticking ... and ticking ... and ticking ... which at least distracts one from thoughts about the man that's going to slice and dice his boys this Friday ... only 5 sleeps from now!
P.S. I knew that there was something that I wanted to add to this when I posted it. As has been kindly pointed out with a comment to this post, Sarnia is indeed a long way from Yukon. But having been a fan of Calvin and Hobbes for many many year's when titling the post, about a move to Canada where it snows, I couldn't get it from my mind. So I titled it thus with the intent of ensuring that I put something in to show that I am not quite that ignorant. Oh well, better late that never.
Now the timing of the announcement left a little to be desired as I first heard whilst driving to Whyalla. Of course, I stopped at our Pt Augusta office on the way but couldn't access the story from there. And it wasn't until late in the afternoon that I managed to access it from Whyalla. It was the following day (Wednesday) that I received the email that said 'call me but I was sans mobile and without access to a phone that I could use for an international call.
So I departed Whyalla early and headed for Pt Augusta where I attempted to make the call. I tried his office number first and got something that sounded like a couple of foreign young teenage girls giggling (no, I didn't keep the number) and then tried the mobile only to get 'This phone is not connected.' Crap.
That left me waiting until Thursday with the time difference meaning that if I didn't call before about 11 it was after business hours. Thursday I managed to leave a couple of messages, but made no contact.
So Friday was the day that I finally managed to speak to the guy in Canada. It didn't leave me flush with information, but the pieces that were most useful were firstly, that yes it was going to happen and secondly that the likely timing was August – September this year. Oh and we will be moving to Sarnia. That was the other important piece of course. So if you google Sarnia, or use google earth, you'll know just how far we are going!
And so the mind starts ticking ... and ticking ... and ticking ... which at least distracts one from thoughts about the man that's going to slice and dice his boys this Friday ... only 5 sleeps from now!
P.S. I knew that there was something that I wanted to add to this when I posted it. As has been kindly pointed out with a comment to this post, Sarnia is indeed a long way from Yukon. But having been a fan of Calvin and Hobbes for many many year's when titling the post, about a move to Canada where it snows, I couldn't get it from my mind. So I titled it thus with the intent of ensuring that I put something in to show that I am not quite that ignorant. Oh well, better late that never.
Feb 5, 2007
Waiting for the Great Leap Forward
And so the day has come! I can scarce wrap my head around it. This morning as I drove to Whyalla, my phone rang. It was someone from within the company who has been in a similar position to that I’ve been in with regard to the potential move to Canada. Though he’s only been in the loop for a month, not for the 15 months that we’ve been enduring it.
He called to tell me that there had been an announcement on the stock exchange and that we’d been named preferred tenderers for the work in Canada!
Holy crap. Of course, if there’s one place you don’t’ want to be when such news is flying about, its in a car without access to the internet or any of your email. I had to wait until after lunch time to finally be able to get my hands on the information that I was so desperately craving.
Here’s a little extract:
“…has today been selected as the preferred tenderer for an asset management services deal worth more than $1 billion Canadian dollars over five years with leading Canadian oil and gas producer …
…Taking our hydrocarbons industry expertise to the burgeoning North American market is significant to our international growth strategy and this opportunity with Suncor underpins our ability to compete at the highest level in the international asset management arena.
…a team of more than 1000 people across Suncor’s major production facilities at Fort McMurray, Firebag and Sarnia in Canada.
…I know that everyone will continue to support the team in Calgary as they continue to work through the tendering process and deliver a seamless transition.”
And when I was finally able to access my emails, I saw this:
Dave,
Now I can email back clearly. You would have seen the announcement by now so we can start to talk in more detail.
1. – Yes!
2. The time frame is 3rd quarter and Joseph has apparently had this discussion with you in relation to Santos etc. If everything does come good by the end of month of Feb when we hope to sign the contract, then we are talking full Sarnia operations.
Give me a call when you get this to talk.
The fact that the time I got this was 10pm in Canada did nothing for me because it means I am in no position to find out more information until tomorrow. I sense a very restless night’s sleep ahead.
What does it all mean? It means that we’re waiting for the great leap forward. It means that assuming the contract negotiations are completed (and they usually are) we could well be moving to Canada before the end of the year. But that is all tied up in the information that I don’t yet have.
Watch this space.
He called to tell me that there had been an announcement on the stock exchange and that we’d been named preferred tenderers for the work in Canada!
Holy crap. Of course, if there’s one place you don’t’ want to be when such news is flying about, its in a car without access to the internet or any of your email. I had to wait until after lunch time to finally be able to get my hands on the information that I was so desperately craving.
Here’s a little extract:
“…has today been selected as the preferred tenderer for an asset management services deal worth more than $1 billion Canadian dollars over five years with leading Canadian oil and gas producer …
…Taking our hydrocarbons industry expertise to the burgeoning North American market is significant to our international growth strategy and this opportunity with Suncor underpins our ability to compete at the highest level in the international asset management arena.
…a team of more than 1000 people across Suncor’s major production facilities at Fort McMurray, Firebag and Sarnia in Canada.
…I know that everyone will continue to support the team in Calgary as they continue to work through the tendering process and deliver a seamless transition.”
And when I was finally able to access my emails, I saw this:
Dave,
Now I can email back clearly. You would have seen the announcement by now so we can start to talk in more detail.
1. – Yes!
2. The time frame is 3rd quarter and Joseph has apparently had this discussion with you in relation to Santos etc. If everything does come good by the end of month of Feb when we hope to sign the contract, then we are talking full Sarnia operations.
Give me a call when you get this to talk.
The fact that the time I got this was 10pm in Canada did nothing for me because it means I am in no position to find out more information until tomorrow. I sense a very restless night’s sleep ahead.
What does it all mean? It means that we’re waiting for the great leap forward. It means that assuming the contract negotiations are completed (and they usually are) we could well be moving to Canada before the end of the year. But that is all tied up in the information that I don’t yet have.
Watch this space.
Feb 3, 2007
Fixed
After significant deliberation about things like the consequences of an accident that could lead to a fifth child joining us in the house and the various options for averting the event, it has been decided that it was time I was fixed. Neutered. Rendered harmless.
Yes, its time for the big V. After many years of making declarations like, “There's no way anyone is going near my boys!” I've had to eat my words.
On Friday of last week I went in for the initial consultation where I was informed of the choices (Such as local or general anesthetic) and risks associated with the procedure (like continuing to live fire afterwards).
And of course there was the momentary inspection to ensure that everything appeared normal prior to undertaking the procedure. It wasn't until afterwards that I considered the issue of another man handling the boys and was glad to realise that certain things hadn't gone through my mind at the time. Things like, “Gee, he's got nice soft hands,” or “he seems to be smiling an awful lot whilst he's doing that,” or, “I wish he'd linger a little longer ...” because that would be wrong in too many ways for me!
I think in hindsight that I basically stared at the ceiling and thought of Thatcher (or not).
When presented with the choice, I opted for a local anesthetic because i figure that if someones going to be messing with my boys, there's got to a be a reduced chance of uncalled for interference if I am conscious through the procedure.
What did surprise me was the discussion around how long post procedure it could take to clear the system of rogue sperm. In some cases, it can go out to 6 months or in rarer circumstances 18! But there was some comment about the level of sexual activity that may have accompanied such occurrences. I think I can manage to avoid that fate!
I have already been booked in for the neutering and am now just counting the days ... all 12 of them!
Yes, its time for the big V. After many years of making declarations like, “There's no way anyone is going near my boys!” I've had to eat my words.
On Friday of last week I went in for the initial consultation where I was informed of the choices (Such as local or general anesthetic) and risks associated with the procedure (like continuing to live fire afterwards).
And of course there was the momentary inspection to ensure that everything appeared normal prior to undertaking the procedure. It wasn't until afterwards that I considered the issue of another man handling the boys and was glad to realise that certain things hadn't gone through my mind at the time. Things like, “Gee, he's got nice soft hands,” or “he seems to be smiling an awful lot whilst he's doing that,” or, “I wish he'd linger a little longer ...” because that would be wrong in too many ways for me!
I think in hindsight that I basically stared at the ceiling and thought of Thatcher (or not).
When presented with the choice, I opted for a local anesthetic because i figure that if someones going to be messing with my boys, there's got to a be a reduced chance of uncalled for interference if I am conscious through the procedure.
What did surprise me was the discussion around how long post procedure it could take to clear the system of rogue sperm. In some cases, it can go out to 6 months or in rarer circumstances 18! But there was some comment about the level of sexual activity that may have accompanied such occurrences. I think I can manage to avoid that fate!
I have already been booked in for the neutering and am now just counting the days ... all 12 of them!
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