Fixed

After significant deliberation about things like the consequences of an accident that could lead to a fifth child joining us in the house and the various options for averting the event, it has been decided that it was time I was fixed. Neutered. Rendered harmless.

Yes, its time for the big V. After many years of making declarations like, “There's no way anyone is going near my boys!” I've had to eat my words.

On Friday of last week I went in for the initial consultation where I was informed of the choices (Such as local or general anesthetic) and risks associated with the procedure (like continuing to live fire afterwards).

And of course there was the momentary inspection to ensure that everything appeared normal prior to undertaking the procedure. It wasn't until afterwards that I considered the issue of another man handling the boys and was glad to realise that certain things hadn't gone through my mind at the time. Things like, “Gee, he's got nice soft hands,” or “he seems to be smiling an awful lot whilst he's doing that,” or, “I wish he'd linger a little longer ...” because that would be wrong in too many ways for me!

I think in hindsight that I basically stared at the ceiling and thought of Thatcher (or not).

When presented with the choice, I opted for a local anesthetic because i figure that if someones going to be messing with my boys, there's got to a be a reduced chance of uncalled for interference if I am conscious through the procedure.

What did surprise me was the discussion around how long post procedure it could take to clear the system of rogue sperm. In some cases, it can go out to 6 months or in rarer circumstances 18! But there was some comment about the level of sexual activity that may have accompanied such occurrences. I think I can manage to avoid that fate!

I have already been booked in for the neutering and am now just counting the days ... all 12 of them!