Bye Bye Grace

I am sad to report that things did not go well for our poor little bunny Grace. The vet tried inducing her to see if that would bring on the contractions and help and the first of the two babies was apparently delivered, but the second was simply too large and little Grace didn’t survive the birth.

I managed to beat Emily home and needless to say when she arrived she came through the door in tears and dissolved into a blubbering mess in my arms. Caroline had hockey, I was trying to cook dinner and then I was told that I would need to go and collect the body. So I whipped out and hid her in the garage so that we could try and get through dinner.

I’d cooked steak, veg and chips and when Emily sat down, she wasn’t prepared to eat the meat because “It reminded her of Grace.” She sat slowly eating her chip, occasionally sobbing, but when it came to the veg, it only took one look at a carrot for her to decide that she wasn’t going to be eating those either.

There was already talk of a replacement bunny and it was interesting (and heart breaking) to watch Emily oscillate between the hope that would come with a new bunny and the devastation that was associated with the loss of the lovely little bunny that had just died.

After dinner we went out into the yard, found a nice spot under the fruit trees where Grace had liked to explore and dug a hole. Emily laid her to rest in the hole herself and then we buried her, said a prayer and marked the spot with a rock and some flowers. The boys were good enough to come out as well and I don’t think there was a dry eye when we quietly went back inside.

The rest of the night was hard, Emily continuing her emotional roller coaster and eventually I had to lay with her in bed to get her off to sleep, letting her talk her way through the issues, hearing her note that she and her brothers would have spent the money for the caesarean, but that Mummy wouldn’t. I had to assure her that I couldn’t spend the money either and that Mummy had had to make a tough decision that she didn’t like and that we’ll both second guess many times even with the sum that was involved.

I did have to laugh though when a little later Emily said, “Imagine if we had thousands of bunnies and had to bury them and when one died you tried to dig a hole and were like, ‘Oh we’ve dug up another bunny, guess we’ll have to try a different spot!”

Eventually she slept and thankfully didn’t wake up during the night. This morning she was philosophical, but still sad of course and asked me to take her out to where Grace was buried so that she could say hello.