And a minor twitch

Something that I haven’t been able to ignore over here lately are the ads for drugs on the television. I really only remember two types of drug ads from back home (well three if you count the anti illegal drug type) and those tended to be grouped into two areas: Headaches and period pain. Not having any need for the later, I didn’t pay much attention. Neither did I tend to pay a whole lot of attention to he former (which probably means that there’s a host of ads for different drugs that I’ve completely failed to account for).

But over here, it’s almost no holds barred by comparison. (Remembering here that much of te TV that we watch is from the US via cable). But the thing that gets me literally giggling on the couch, in serious risk of a floorward tumble is the second half of the ad. Well really, it’s more than half and that’s part of the point, but it’s the bit of the ad that comes after the first bit and therefore is thought of as the second half.

You see if an advertisement for one of these drugs goes for a minute, only the first 10 to 20 seconds actually tell you about the benefit of the drug and the wonders that it will do for the body, mind and/or soul.

The REST of the ad, the funny bit is obviously one of those things that get’s generated by the legal, sue the pants off your neighbour type world that America seems to live in.

So what transpires is that you start out with an advertisement for a medication that will (hypothetically and not based on any REAL drug) cure you of a mildly annoying case of drippy nose. They’ll tell you just how wonderful it is and how dry and well maintained your nose will be as a result of taking your drug. The announcer will be upbeat and happy.

Then there will be the bit that says that before undertaking a course of their drug, you really should consult a physician. Because there’s just a slight, remote chance of a side affect.

Well, for a start, there’s the bit where they tell you that the drug is guaranteed to work for everyone. Then there’s the side affects. These are generally read in that sort of monotonic, deadpan voice that says, “We’re really not saying anything important right now, so you may as well change channels, but just in case, we’re going to cover our arse). And of course, there’s a remote chance of:

Liver failure, heart palpitations, weepy arse, genital shrinkage, mild brain melt and just ever so remotely possibly, your dog will turn gay and run off with the neighbour’s tomcat.

And you wonder why I fall about laughing ...