Waiting is the Hardest Part

Around rolls the New Year and the waiting for news continues. The worst part of it is that I don’t even have a definite date by which things will be resolved. I have been under the impression that the company that we’ve tendered to work for is going to make an announcement on the 15th of January, but a conversation that I had with someone the other day left me in some doubt as to the likelihood of that.

Its not unusual for these decisions and announcements to be put back a couple of times, but usually my whole future isn’t riding on the announcement.

And of course at this point, I am in a fill-in role that has also been advertised which leaves that nagging question in the back of one’s mind … what happens if they fill this position and then we don’t win the work? What am I going to be doing then? And where? But that hurts to much to think about, so I shunt it to the back of my mind (from whence it can leap out and bug the crap out of me at 4am in the morning).

In the last week I’ve dreamed about conversations with our Managing Director (accompanied by the board) and our CEO international, though notably nothing that gives up what is going to happen or otherwise useful. After that, I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed the dream about someone taking me to a hippie’s house to buy a guitar and finding out that this hippie had the most awesomely designed garden ever! I like dreams, but work can bugger off out of them please.

I am endeavouring to be fully committed to this temporary role as it could prove an important link in a return to Adelaide in a few years time, but damn its hard when there’s mountains of information to get your head around that you may well be forgetting in a months time. I’m focussing on the immediate for now, trying to deliver some specifics so that I can make a difference in the time that I am here.

And so the waiting goes on. As does the endless question, “So, when do you leave for Canada?” or “Are you going?” or “Do you know ANYTHING?!” The volume of questions has increased dramatically, because everyone from my old contract knows I’ve gone, everyone on the new contract knows its temporary and of course, prior to Christmas, with the need to change jobs, we told our family and a lot of our friends. Everyone wants to know.

Of course, we still haven’t told the kids because we don’t want to do that until something definite is in the pipeline. I can’t wait for one of them to come home from school and say, “X asked me why we’re going to Canada. Are we going to Canada?”

And so the waiting goes on. Its cruel I tell you.